Online fun

Since I’ve been doing a lot of work from home these days, Matthew sees a lot more of me. However, he’s not very pleased when he gets ignored for the computer.

It’s actually been fortunate timing that Matthew has learned to entertain himself for periods of time. I just have to be a little bit alert about him getting into accidents, but since he’s not wobbly any more and has become more capable of controling his body, I can usually leave him to his own devices—most of the time.

I can’t, however, let him be for very long. There always comes a point when he lets me know I’ve been in work mode far too long, at least according to his sense of time. He starts showing a dislike for the computer.

That’s all changed. After a quick web search, I landed on Kneebouncers, aptly described as “Something fun for the itty bitty ones!”

Pick a game!

There are six different games: Underwater Adventure, Guitar Piano & Drums, Jump & Float, Peek-a-Boo!, Bubbles Balloons & Flowers, and All Aboard! The only skill a baby needs to play is the capacity to strike a keyboard key.

All Aboard! Press any key to play!

Matthew loves All Aboard! After a few minutes of “computer time” I can gently put him back with his toys so he can get back to pounding, walking, throwing, and experimenting with things within his reach. And I can get back to work for a little while longer.

The Working Idea

My husband and I recently decided to explore the opportunities of working together, he as the creative mind but silent type, and I as the aggressive, business-minded type.

At a meeting for a project, our client referred to us as a husband-and-wife team. Somehow, while it was so plain to see, we never thought of each other that way, not professionally anyway. We thought of ourselves as partners in every other way from the beginning, and we would often consult with each other with regards to many points in our lives, or even just regale each other with our days’ stories.

Working together is a difficult decision to make. It brings us to the forever tricky situation of balancing professionalism with (over-) familiarity. It can work for us, or against us, as many family enterprises have seen and experienced.

What we do have, I believe, is a common goal, one that is bigger than ourselves. A better life, really, with all the trimmings that we’ve been dreaming about. We would be putting ourselves in a position wherein we have control of things, most of the time.

But there have been several warnings about couples working together, about how disastrous it can be for the marriage, about how resentment can build, how the proximity would breed contempt. I was just reading about them, in fact, here and here and here.

However, this is the day and age where the working situation can be redefined and even personalized. So it can work, but sometimes it’s luck, like how writer Larry Roth recounts. A creative couple I admire have also made it work, numerous times.

I’m sure it can work, though it won’t be easy. What I’m suspecting to be the key, however, to such a union, is actually having separate lives.

In a marriage, a couple is united but it does not make them one person of one mind, heart, and personality. We constantly encourage each other to do our own thing, to see our own friends, to have time to ourselves. It is much needed, especially now that our twosome had already turned into a threesome, with Matthew in tow a lot of times.

How does a husband and wife survive the strain of working together? Just like in any partnership, whether professional or otherwise, it is to lay the cards on the table. Make the rules clear. Who does what. What the goals, objectives and the directives are. That there be no hitting below the belt. To balance transparency coupled with kindness.

For a project that my company is currently servicing, I outsourced a major component of the project to my husband. While my business partner and I take care of overall project management, my husband and his team have to take care of producing a corporate video. It entailed meetings, three whole-day shoots, editing, and tons of coordination. Our client has not been the most easy; in fact, our shoots have been logistical nightmares. Fortunately, the video team is a professional lot. They are used to the pressure and are experienced enough to make things work under these circumstances.

Our marriage, on the other hand, is not used to all that. My tendency to push to make things work even if I have to have Matthew attached to my hip is being met with the nerve-wracking need for me to let go and let people do their jobs. Since one of those “people” is someone I live with, it takes a gargantuan amount of effort not to nag at every moment for updates and reassurances. This is the moment that trust is indeed tested.

We have a week and a half to go before we deliver the products to the client. And we have proven, somehow, that we can make it work. Despite having to battle the flu and take care of a feverish toddler sometime last week, despite needing to remain calm as tensions aroused (temporarily) between our agency and the client, despite the last-minute changes in requirements, despite the fact that I realize my husband and I have completely different working styles, I believe we are pulling this off beautifully.

The question is, what now? A couple of months ago, we had drawn up plans of proceeding to put up our own company. These plans need to be shelved for a while. I think we are fine working on a project-to-project basis. If we are to work together often, we need breaks in between where we are just ourselves and there is no work to talk about. Who knows what happens a year from now? I am in no rush to find out; we have many years together in front of us, anyway.

What I won’t risk is making mistakes that our marriage will have to eventually pay for. Working together works if you have interests to actively engage in outside of work. But when you are trying to make a living out of something that you are passionate about, everything gets muddled. And just about now, I think it’s best that we explore our work capabilities independently.

The best part of these little experiments, though, is that now, we know first-hand what the other goes through. He knows what it means when I am stressed about a pitch. I know what it takes to produce a faultless 30-seconder. We’ve seen each other deal with the crazy unexpected details that our thrown our way. We’ve gone through sleepless nights, taking turns at work, rushing to meet simultaneous deadlines, all while making sure that Matthew’s being cared for and his needs are met. I hope this means that we have a better understanding of each other, knowing more assuredly that our goals and dreams remain the same, but we may have to play our parts differently in the meantime.